Word of the Year: Power

It sounds so intense

but really its just me trying to 

saddle back up

after a whirlwind of chaos

And I'm growing weary

of this poor-me-

lost-at-sea coat of despair.

It's half a decision

and half a hope and a prayer 

that whatever magic allows the buds to open

and babies to be birthed

looks my way

and nods it's head in favor.

And I'm gathering tools to add to my belt too,

And my biggest hope is that I'm able to learn

how to soothe myself.

That is the power I'm hungry for.

If I learn this, then what can the future do to me?

What have I to fear if I know

that from any cliff's edge

I can safely bring myself back down

to ground...

Notes

Today I received my Reiki I attunement.
I didn't feel anything dramatic but I do feel a subtle something now when I pay attention.
I got a huge headache afterwards
and struggled through the rest of the afternoon.
I also didn't feel completely comfortable and I think that messed with my sensitivity towards it.
I hear that the key is to just keep practicing on yourself
until you become more comfortable with the feeling of the energy.
I keep feeling a tingling or buzzing in my hands, feet and lower legs.
Tonight while practicing holding Reiki over my solar plexus (not touching)
I could feel my hands fill up every time I breathed out
and then my hands emptied when I breathed in.
I didn't feel that anywhere else on my body.
No matter how far I extended my hands away from my solar plexus, I could feel this sensation.
I think it will take a lot of un-self conscious play to grow into it more and more.
I think the other big thing for me is just to trust and surrender, to not try and will it or over analyze it.
Good things to grow in for 2018...

Reiki Principles from Master Usui:
Just for today- Do not anger.
Just for today- Do not worry.
Just for today- Be grateful.
I will do my work honestly.
I will be kind to people and every living thing.