6.26.2009

goodbye:hello::25:26

Well, today was my birthday.
That's right. The day that Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett both died, was my birthday.
But that's okay. Life and death...they are all bound to happen, right?

Last night there was a dark, furry moth on the ceiling of our family room. My sister said, "Moths always remind me of death." A foreshadowing of today? Weird.

That's okay. For a little bit I felt heavy about it. About death, accompanying my birthday. Then I remembered that I didn't really like this past year, and that it's okay to lay it down to die. I can actually say, it's over...phew! It's under my belt now. I have all of the richness and wisdom of experience that heartache and grief bring...and yet I don't have to experience it in that same way again. RIP 2-5. I'll wave a big goodbye to you.

Hello 2-6. You feel sunnier to me. And I don't mind being closer to the big 3-0. Because as life is lived it grows and expands our hearts if we let it...so next year has to be better. Simply because...I let my heart be made bigger.

5 comments:

R.W. Shipshape said...

Word up. I still have some mixed feelings about getting older, but overall, I appreciate my greater sense of sturdiness.

A toast for what's to come! Happy Birthday, Lauren!

Unknown said...

It's really not that bad for having a birthday. I know I can see more valuable stuff and what's important for myself that I couldn't see when I'm 20s.

Happy birthday to you, and really looking forward to talking to you sometime soon.

Sarah Amador said...

im super bummed i missed your birthday sister. seriously.

but i like your approach, and it is a neat way to look at it. makes me see last years birthday differently.


so glad i get to see you soon

kacy said...

Happy belated! 25 was the terrible no-good year of my life as well. love you. maybe sometime while were 26 we'll get to hang out!

frances said...

i would love to hear more. wish you lived right around the corner still.

love u! ab