That's a heavy word that's been staring me in the face lately.
Do good.  Offer good things.  This very active and moving thing. 
To move would be to create something new, to end up with some kind of product or performance that could then be labeled as "good" or "bad" or "right" or "wrong".
So then there's fear.
But something that's slowly growing in me, becoming stronger then the fear, is sadness, or regret.
A sadness when I think of my dusty violin, my empty sketch pads, songs unsung, words unspoken, my years filled with so many moments of passivity, of seeking safety and comfort as what is "best".
It evokes a mourning of sorts. 
Who I am supposed to BE has been left unfulfilled in so many moments...
To BE.
The best doing comes from being.
That's what I always forget, and why the pressure to "do" builds up into an impossible mountain.
But doing is simply the flowing from the being.
I have ways I see the world that need to be expressed, or something is lost.
And that product does not have to be "good" or "bad", but it will just simply "be"...because it is my reality in that moment.  My own heart's expression.
In community every voice is needed in order to truly be in relationship.
Expression is my calling.  I can do things in my own way, not how I believe it should be done.
It needs to be done in this way.

1 comment:

R.W. Shipshape said...

I like making decisions that move me away from fear. Fear is such a liar and I hate how it immobolizes me. I lament my inaction, as well, but I'm thankful for clear-as-day thoughts that offer an alternative. Those thoughts are from the Lord.