I wade in this water to find its source.

Have a seat,
I've got some things to say to you.

I heard last night that you're up to your old ways
with other hearts
in other rooted places
and it destroyed me for a moment,
but just for a moment.
And that's okay
because I've been studying the art of rebuilding
for awhile now.

And all this time my mind has danced around you
in confusion and indecision,
but my body has always known.
My body has always known.

I've been thanking it lately
for not letting it betray myself;
For the nausea that rose when I tried to speak falsely
about need and love,
and for the animal instinct to cut and run.

I could set a vigil
around your well of needs
and you would call me blessed
and holy.

How irresistible,
for that tender wolf pup.

I know that you feel cut off
from wildish woman instinct
within your own self,
And that is why you could never
just let me have it.
Unless it was written in that Book
on that black and white page,
It was untrustworthy to you.

But I am through
with the simultaneous
distrust of and craving for
the feminine.

And as I've grown into this wild woman
I've been making my requests to the Universe
for safe love,
grown love,
stable love.
You can have your wooing glances,
You can keep your hots and colds.

I'll be over here
sprouting roots from my feet,
humming along with Beyonce
and writing,
and creating,
and swaying,
and reveling in my
grown
and wildish
ways.

I wish you well,
But you are not inhabiting me any longer,
old friend.